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Sometimes you have this idea going on in your head during the start of the year
of where you want your life to be in, what you want to achieve and so many other plans
and somehow life just throws you in a completely different direction.
That's just how this year went by,
most of the things that happened this year were unexpected,
you have an idea of it possibly happening but when it does
it's a completely different experience.






Most of the unexpected things that I'm talking about turns out
to be one of the greatest memories
I like going back to when I'm down or sad
or just reminisce about when I am older.






I may have been able to experience so many good things this year,
being able to visit places I didn't expect I would be able to in my lifetime,
but it is not always smooth sailing though, every year isn't.
One of the challenges this year brought
is that crippling feeling that I am no longer creative enough
just like how I was back then, some days feel like I'm losing the feeling of
how it was like back then.

To be honest, I almost gave up on photography and everything
that goes with creativity at some point this year.

I was on the verge of giving up,
but somehow as stubborn as I am, I still kept on fighting.






These are the battles I try overcoming each year,
and it's a good thing I'm not easily discouraged even when I am at my lowest.

It's innate in me to want more and do more creatively in my life,
it's just that last year, I got so drained
physically and emotionally trying to do such things
that it took a toll on me this year.
But after months of no longer putting pressure on myself to try to be greater,
I was able to function properly again.
It took months, but I'm back on my feet again.

During the tough times I was going through this year,
I remind myself all the time
to pause and take a break when I'm at my lowest;
to  get up and fight on when I'm already good to face the challenges again;
and to be okay when it doesn't work out the way I want it to.

And sometimes it doesn't always work out the way we want it to,
and that's okay.

That creative pause allowed myself to heal again,
it's no guarantee that I can create more 'good' creative content,
but the willingness to do so is still there;
it will be gone for some days,
but it will always come back to me.